Life as I knew it

Well, my friends, it is official.  Life as I knew it is OVER!  I used to wake up around 9 or 10 in the am, shower, dress, and head to work.  I would go through the day eating, resting and using the bathroom basically whenever I needed to do so.  Can anyone say, "Not Anymore!"  My life now revolves around the hours available to drive.  We eat when we are done with drivable hours and have to shut down for 10 hours straight.  Can I just ask a question?  Why in the world do truck stops not sell vegetables?  Not of any kind!  I have looked and looked, do they think we don't need them?  Maybe they think nobody would buy them.  Whatever the reason, I miss my veggies!  They do offer fruit though, if you count black bananas and three day old sliced apples.  It has come down to me ordering veggie patty sandwiches at subway to try to get some kind of vegetables and instead of chips I eat the kid sized apple slices.  I also order milk whenever I can because I never know when I will be able to get it again.  I take my multi-vitamin every day, but somehow I still feel cheated out of my veggies.  How is a girl supposed to stay healthy and regular without roughage and veggies?  Which brings me to my next point.  I have learned to use the bathroom EVERY time we stop, just in case we don't stop again for hours.  Now I know most of you don't want to hear about my bathroom adventures but there are some of you that will absolutely laugh out loud at the situations I have found myself in.  Let me just start off by saying I absolutely have no sane judgment once I have to pee so bad I can't see straight.  I have squatted on the side of the road, which isn't so bad, most of us have done it.  I have hovered over the seat in a port-a-potty that I swear hadn't been serviced in twenty-five years.  Again, not so bad, most of you ladies can sympathize.  However, here is where it gets interesting.  I recently found myself sitting on the steps of the truck peeing straight down through the grates, on the side of the freeway, during a traffic jam.  At first I didn't care who saw what, I had to go so bad, but as the urgency was evacuated, I slowly started to realise where I was and exactly how many people could see me.  I quickly cleaned up and climbed back inside the truck, red-faced and ashamed, to face a chuckling Brandyn.  Another time we were parked at a rest stop for a nap, however, when I woke up, the bathrooms were closed and locked.  I know you ladies will appreciate the urgency I was feeling having just woken up and needing to pee, so I did what I thought was best at the time.  I climbed onto the catwalk between the truck and the trailer and I pulled up my dress and I peed.  I didn't bother to look around to see if anyone could see me. that is, until, I was done.  Only then did I notice a truck sitting across the parking lot that could plainly see me in all my glory.  I don't know if anyone was in the truck watching, but I am going to go to my grave believing he was asleep and didn't see a thing.  Now, imagine falling asleep while your husband is driving down the road, no big deal right?  Now imagine you have slept for three and a half hours and before you went to sleep you hadn't used the bathroom in almost six hours.  All I can say is my bladder hurt so bad when I woke up, I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital.  I was frantically searching for a rest stop, or a shoulder to pull out on, a truck stop, or a frikkin' tree, anything so I could pee.  No luck.  we were in the middle of a construction zone and had nowhere to pull off and we were crossing Nevada, so there was nothing out there in the way of an exit.  Brandyn hands me a yellow plastic funnel and a Gatorade bottle with a smile.  All I can say is it is really hard to balance over a funnel and bottle while doing fifty-five in a construction zone, in an eighteen wheeler!  I hope most of you laughed at the state my life is in now, I do every day.  I don't want you to think I am unhappy or sorry that I made this choice, because that couldn't be further from the truth.  I laugh at myself every day and am having a blast trying to figure out this new existence living on the road.  Keep laughing my friends, and as always, Safe Travels!